vivisectio | open post

[Somehow, in all of the chaos, Kanou hadn't even been able to have any sort of a noble death as a human (kind of) (mostly). Being shot to death had been one thing, but feeling himself bleed out and then patch himself back up again, without being able to even come up with some more smartass shit to say to Haruki.

Turns out that a whole lot of genetic experimentation and death and whatnot tends to end up in actual supernatural bullshit, instead of science. And a lot of supernatural bullshit leads, one way or another, to his ass, teetering on the edge of humanity as is, getting whisked away to become the lab rat instead of the distinguished scientist he is. The worst part is that the only record of him, the only note of who he was, had gone in the fire along with the rest of EHRI's work, and here Kanou is still essentially under house arrest.

Even worse is that the doctor whose care he's now in is a piece of shit. He hates him. He wants to tear him to shreds with his fingers and teeth. But he can't, because the guy's a fucking oni. A fucking oni. And he'll never get to dissect him and see what makes him tick, because he's out of his league even with the Empyrean cells currently infecting him, distorting him more and more. The only way to make it is to try and keep his cool somewhat, see if the guy can't be won over enough to let him out of his cage and set him free one day.

(Even if that would be like setting a nuclear bomb free.)]

Heeeeeey, Doctor Perveeeeert~ Kanou-san's starving here~ Let meow-t already ♥♥♥

[He can lilt and trill and coo all he likes, but until he gets that sweet sugar hit, Akira's going to have to deal with pure murder in those big blue eyes.]

[ It's not often Akira gets pure gold dumped right in his lap like this. Dubious as most are about his methods, the youkai community at large can't deny that he's the best researcher they have, so the logical place to bring something new and potentially dangerous is to him.

This new subject hasn't been in his care for too long yet, still in a quarantine period to make sure nothing nasty's hiding out that'll hurt them or his other patients, but he's seen enough of their temperament so far to know not to stick his fingers between the bars all willy nilly.

Living things still need fed, however, so a plate's being brought to the cage in an otherwise empty room. Chicken, peas, crackers, everything cooked but unseasoned just to be safe on the specimen's tummy, and a paper cup full of applesauce as a sweet treat. Akira's holding the dinky cafeteria tray with a bright, genuine smile, stopping arm's length from the bars j u s t in case. ]

Can we try saying "please" this time around?

[ He isn't expecting it, but, doesn't hurt to try. ]

Please jam it up your ass ☆

[He says, and then he looks at the tray. One gangly arm rreeeeeaaaaches out to grab

just the applesauce.] You could at least ask what I like instead of wasting both our time, but nooooooo. Noooooo we're doing this. [And he throws the applesauce back like a shot, complete with grimace afterwards.] Blech. Hey, hey, Doctor Pervert, you know what's going to happen if you try doing anything funny with me, don't you?

We're providing you with a balanced diet so you stay healthy under my care, yes.

[ Not in any way, shape, or form progress on winning the subject's favor, but. He's already downed the applesauce so Akira will slide the tray with the rest of the food all the way through the lil prison slot anyhow. Careful but quick, not gonna get any fingers this time around you rascal. ]

I don't actually! Won't you tell me what'll happen, hm?

You didn't even do your research! [Kanou you literally come from a barely translated RPGMaker game. Akira cannot be expected to know about the Jesus Diseasus.] My blood's a biological weapon now, since I'm aaaaall infected. You got Kanou-san in this shitty little cage, but you can't even do anything with me!

[Of course he can. Kanou knows that anyone worth their salt will simply use due PPE and decontaminate themselves properly, even without such a risk. It just pisses him off that he probably won't be able to study himself and learn more, that he's trapped here instead of being out there and boy should Akira be glad that he's trapped out there and not in here with the sheriff or whatever.

Which is to say, Kanou kicks the tray back out with that same placid, empty smile, and those same pinpoint hatred eyes.]

You keep pissing me off, I'll deteriorate further. It'll be all for nothing, because I won't let myself live like that, and the cells don't last long outside of a living host. They're fragile little things, you know? They need their buddies-- aht, but I'm not teeelliiiiing~

[ Well that's chicken and peas everywhere, thanks. But of course Akira's still smiling, cheery and cordial, and best of all given one of the things he wanted. ]

The risk of a surprise infection was the whole reason you're here in solitary, so thanks for confirming there's a risk after all. It makes preparation and observing that much easier, you know?

[ Letting his mind run free with that train of thought his smile widens, color steadily sinking into his cheeks. ]

And it makes me that much more excited to finally get a good look at you~

[ He still doesn't want to get too close but he needs some kind of physical outlet, so with his hands wringing behind his back he begins pacing, back and forth, back and forth, like a tiger deeply considering its next meal. ]

What sort of nasty things does your blood do, I wonder? Is it a parasite? Does it attack certain organs? What is it about you that makes you a relatively safe host? Oh, oh I want to know...

Denied. I'm not telling you anything else, and all the research will die with me.

[Yessssss. Baited. He's valuable, he's precious, he's the most special boy in the world even though he's 33 years old, and he should at least be remembered. If he can just get this quack to realise that he's better left coherent at least, placated at best, then surely this won't be so bad.

Maybe they'll go down in history together! That'd be fun.] You can figure out lotsa stuff on your own, I bet, but you'll never know where they come from, stuff like that. You won't know about the projects Kanou-san read about~ It's all gone, dust to dust ashes to ashes.

But I'll give you a hint, and if you fuck around and test the limits of it, then you'll fucking regret it: mental stability makes the cells stable in turn, to a degree. You have to be nice to meeeee if you want ideal conditions~ And I'm all that's left, maybe.

[Another lie, but he doesn't feel like ratting out the only person living to remember him as he was.]

Well I've got no problem being nice to you. [ He was? Already being nice?? Nice like someone pampering a beloved lab mouse, maybe, but treating Kanou like a living thing regardless. He takes the well being of his patients very seriously, okay. ]

Maybe nice enough for you to be cooperative, even. You're already getting a comfy place to sleep, free healthcare, three square meals a day...

[ A. A glance at the tray and all those scattered peas. The nurses will clean it up, it's fine. ]

If you play nice enough to get out of quarantine you'll practically be staying at a five star hotel! You can walk around, eat when you aren't scheduled to, there are TVs and radios in a few rooms you can use all you like, and the view of the sea from the windows is pretty great. Don't you want to play nice, Kanou~?

So...

On house arrest, you're saying? Is that what you're saying? Is it what you're getting at? And that's Kanou-san to you~ I'm far too valuable to go degrading, don't you think?

[He's quiet for a second, apparently placated, before suddenly lunging at the bars, face squished up against them and glasses lopsided, as if they're any use in the destroyed state they're in.]

New glasses. Doughnuts daily. Mister Donut ones, angel French crullers. More than two boxes. None of that shit you've been trying to feed me with. Then I'll be the best you've ever had, ☆ Doctor Pervert ☆

[ Unfortunately for Kanou, Akira and his bestie watch schlocky horror movies for fun so he's pretty desensitised to jumpscares. Fortunately for Kanou, he's nodding and giving some visible consideration to the short list of demands. ]

New glasses and doughnuts every day I can do, with the stipulation that you can have one with every meal I've already been providing. Two if you're good.

[ How hard is it to import a specific chain's doughnuts here? Not very, in all honesty, it's just a matter of how convincing he has to be to the people who can make it happen for him. He can already hear the sighs. ]

I'll even consider four tomorrow as a special thank you for cooperating if you say my name properly, Kanou-san. I know you know it~

Nn...

[He stays smushed against the bar for a few silent seconds, before slithering back into the recesses of his gay little cage.]

One bite of the food you give me. It's trash, isn't it? Isn't it just? Boring, trash, not sweet enough. And only one per meal? That's nowhere near enough! If you're gonna reward me with the promise of more if I keep on behaving, then we might just get somewhere ☆

[Stre-e-etch, touching his toes, then spreading his legs out as far as he can, back together again.] Does Ta☆ka☆ha☆shi-sensei have...A sleeping bag you can walk in?

Rewards for good behavior are easy to arrange.

[ Especially since he didn't even have to argue for at least one bite of the other parts of the meals. What a delightful surprise! ]

Very good! See, we're already getting somewhere. Although...

[ Excuse him a sec while he digs his phone out, he's gotta google what the hell Kanou's talking about. ]

What do you mean by a, [ type type typing as he talks, ] "sleeping bag you can walk in"?

You don't know?

[Disgust. Pure disgust.] I can't collaborate with someone like you who can't even grasp a self-explanatory title, especially of a concept so heavenly.

There's plenty of things I don't know. It's why I do what I do!

[ Scroll scrolling through the google results, looking absolutely delighted at this novel new thing he's learning about. ]

Oooh, there's so many kinds! Is there any specific type or brand you want?

Sweet-talker, I'll let it slide~

[A man after his own heart etc etc.] As for the brand...Nope! Doesn't matter, just as long as it fits all of me and keeps me cosy. Branding only matters for doughnuts.

[He scoots back in a little closer, disgust completely gone from his face. The whimsy of this beast.] You should get yourself one, Sensei ☆ You'll understand then, prooooomise.

You know, that's not a bad idea at all!

[ Looking up from his phone, he'll give Kanou a quick but intense once-over. No doubt the guy's already seen some of the extra eyes, so it's easy enough to guess there might be some enhanced sight fuckery going on. ]

Hmmm...an eight centimeter difference, but we should still fit in the same size. Good! Ordering two of the same thing makes it a lot easier.

[As long as Akira can keep himself in check whilst manifesting things like that-- well, it's not as though he has to worry about the contamination, so Kanou shouldn't think of it in the same terms, should he? Still, he wants so badly to dissect one of those eyes versus one of Akira's Main Eyes, see how they differ, watch them manifest at a cellular level. Maybe when he has more freedom...

For now, he'll be so good. So good.]

Doesn't it ☆ Sensei's gonna understand comfort for the first time in his life, but you can't go kissing me out of gratitude when they arrive!

Hey. Do you do coffee?

[ A few more tip-taps to get all that settled, and the phone goes back in his pocket. ]

Aww, what about when I've tried it out? I get so, so excited and grateful when I learn something new so you deserve a reward for introducing me!

Mm? I do! Why do you ask?

Contamination passes through the tiniest droplet of bodily fluid.

[No Kissing Yet! Or Use A Dental Dam? idk. Anyway. Coffee. Coffee!!]

...How do you take your coffee, Sensei? Do you like a St⭕rbucks fr⭕ppuccino? Do you like sugar in your coffee?

Kanou-san's putting in an order~ I always put in too much sugar so don't let me do that, okay ☆ Let's drink coffee together instead to celebrate~

So it's not just bloodborne? Mm, good to know.

[ Boy don't put ideas in his head, he'll consider them. ]

I like it pretty simple, actually. I've tried tons of different combinations, but when I need something quick I just order a cappuccino.

[ If someone else is buying and he starts rattling off some walgreens receipt-ass order because he thought of how a different percentage of certain syrups might interact together they just don't get him anything. Very cruel. ]

Nope! Blood's the most common, or was in our lab~ But you've got a very good and obedient subject, just a useless doll in the end.

[That's the only hint Akira's getting about how EHRI classified subjects, so on and so forth. ...At least until Kanou gets bored and decides to say some more shit since the Christ Cops can't catch him anymore.]

...Mm~m, simple's good. I like fr⭕ppuccinos because they're simple but you can make them super sweet, and have loads of whipped cream~ You can't have whipped cream on a cappuccino without it going gross, right? Right? No matter how you think about it!

Usually, yes, but I wonder about that! I'm still not done trying everything after all, so maybe there's some version of it that's made even better with whipped cream. Only one way to find out!

Say, say, once you've been good and given a clean bill of health we should experiment with food and drinks!

Maybe something with a little more protein to stay structurally sound, like thooooose...Those egg cream coffees. I'm not just saying that because I wanna taste them, nope ☆

[Don't mind Kanou, he's just. Going to prop himself up against the bars. ...And gradually slide down as if he's boneless, but first to sit and then to slide.]

I'm never getting a clean bill of health~ It's changed me structurally. But it would be fun eating lots of food on Sensei's dime, too...Maybe that can be my will. I wanna live more, so I can eat lots of sweets and snacks while you foot the bill ☆ Whaddya think? Sound fair?

[ Ope, sudden onset of bonelessness. A tragedy that claims many lives every day. He'll be following Kanou down, popping a squat and crossing his arms on top of his knees for a chin-rest. ]

Well, I do have to keep you on as balanced a diet as I can for a while. But so long as you play nice you'll have plenty of opportunities to dip into my snack budget for just about anything you want!

Not gonna eat it.

[He squints. Then reaches through the bars again, though just to stretch out more like a particularly gangly cat.]

Not more than the one spoon of everything I promised.

...Hey, Sensei. Sensei. Are you really going to keep something precious like Kanou-san in this cage for a few more days? Haven't I already been so good? Aren't you lucky that I don't have any weapons? You're really pushing my buttons, here.

Your body's a weapon if you've been telling the truth! Although, hm...

[ He's already so, so curious about every little thing, and he really should be better about ignoring if someone is intentionally trying to bring that out in him and yet he keeps letting it happen.

Carefully, oh so gentle, he raises a hand to try and take hold of one of those gangly hands reaching out from between the bars. ]

How about this, Kanou-san? We'll play a game, and if you win I'll let you have this whole room for yourself for the remainder of your quarantine, not just the cage.

Mmm, but that has risks. Worst case scenario ☆ I like guns a--

[Ah. hand hold. That vapid stare drops to Akira's hand on his, intensifying somehow, before Kanou plasters the stupid expression back on and smiles.]

--A game, huh? Sure. The time will pass anyway, right? So why not bond? It'll be fun, though I'll be pissed off if I lose ☆

That's the spirit! I don't want to piss you off, you know, but it wouldn't be any fun for either of us if I just let you win, huh?

[ Hand hold! Since Kanou's allowing it Akira will even take it a step further, lacing their fingers together without taking his eyes off that weird, weird face. ]

Alright, so I'll be the one to pick the game, and I'll count down so we start at "go." One, two, three~

[ Wait, he didn't say what the game was? He's just casually rocking their hands back and forth, his own smile still firmly in place. ]

Go!

[ And with only that as a warning, his grip tightens. The game is arm wrestling, congratulations! ]

[oh son of a bitch. There's no way he's winning, because he's not pissed off enough to actually go full animal rage or anything, and he really needs to try and stay calm for his own sake, for the sake of everything he's worked for and who he is, but Akira's fucking baiting him into hulking out and he'd still lose against a fucking oni

which is to say that the murder's back in Kanou's stare, even as he lets his arm flop over without resistance. Don't lose it. Keep calm. Don't lose yourself. Don't become a doll. It's as if he's enveloped by static for a brief moment, harsh buzz and all, before he retreats back into his cage and pointedly wipes his hand on his pants.]

Pervert.

[ Akira's eyes stay trained on Kanou's even after the other man's retreated, that distinct observational glint in his eye out on full display. It isn't clear exactly what he's looking for, whether or not he's found it, but it eventually looks like he's made some kind of decision as he gets to his feet again. ]

Alright then. I'm a man of my word.

[ His hands slide into his pockets, first looking like a casual gesture before one of them's searching for something...and pulling out a key. It goes into that damn impressive lock built into the door, and with a soft click it slooowly swings open. ]

There you go! Plenty more room to stretch your legs for the last few days you'll be in here.

I'll fucking kill you.

[Said matter-of-factly, as he refuses to move from his safe corner. Just staring at Akira all the while, as if he's insulted his mother or something. Pure disgust and rage, with a layer of ice over the top that only the Certified Murder Insaneo can manage.] You'll regret this. I'll kill you as soon as your guard's dropped, for this.

[For what? What crime, exactly? Kanou's not elaborating, but he's staying put. And he'll stay put for as long as he can, thank you very much.]

Aaah, looks like you're not in the mood to keep bonding. Oh well. [ A shrug, and the keyring is back in his pocket. ]

I've got things to set up for you by tomorrow anyway, so I can leave you be to adjust to the new room dimensions. On the subject of things to get for you, though...

[ He takes a single step closer, hand outstretched with his palm up. ]

Can you go a night without your glasses? You wanted them replaced, right?

[In response, Kanou's glasses get thrown in Akira's direction, and that's about all the grace he gets given. Hard to look terrifying at all when you're just a gangly motherfucker who is also now squinting very, very hard.]

I'll kill you. [Softer now, reassuring himself more than anything.] I don't care what you do to me. I'll kill you. I'll kill you, and then they'll have something to remember me by again.

...

Don't forget the angel crullers.

[ He'll be picking up those glasses much more carefully than they were thrown, even if they're already broken.

Something to remember him by, huh... ]

Don't worry, I won't. Promise.

[ And if that's all Akira's getting, then that'll be all Kanou gets as the door's locked quietly behind. The rest of the night's full of normal hospital noises, ocassional children or animals in the distance, and the unsteady shambling of the strange nurses. Peaceful.

Peace that will only be broken at 9am sharp with a sturdy knock on the door. Huh. It sounds much more like one of Akira's knocks, but it's usually one of the nurses that brings breakfast in, not the doctor himself. ]

[Even though he knows that Akira's at least smart enough to keep him alive, to indeed foster trust (or attempt to, futile though it might be with a guy like Kanou)...Kanou's still going to stay up all night, huddled at the back of the open cage and staring at the door. Not like he hasn't pulled all-nighters before, and he's trying to fool himself into believing that maybe, with enough focus and calmness, he can regain what he'd lost in that fit of rage.

He'd still been nodding off just a touch when that knock jolts him back awake and makes him glower-squint at the door, nurse or no. Less shambling, though. Probably the doctor. Weird.]

Whaaaaaat? What? What?

[Less lilting than before, almost completely flat.] I'll spit food back at you if it's trash, so don't bother. [Even if he'd promised otherwise. Maybe he can bluster and keep Akira away a little more, who knows?]

[ And in comes the doctor, adjusting a plate in each hand and a sleepy smile on his perpetually pleased face. On one is just about the same thing Kanou's been offered for breakfast every morning: toast, scrambled eggs, and a cup of fruit, today's being banana slices.

On the other, just as promised, four freshly warmed angel crullers. ]

Goooood morning, Kanou-saaan~ Have a good night?

Yep.

[No stopping Akira, which. Yeah, sounds right. So Kanou stretches, touches his toes, arms above his head, legs out to his sides then back in, the whole shebang. Then

he smells the crullers and scuttles over to the cage door, head poking through as if he's a feral animal afraid to really leave instead of a grown-ass man. But...Doughnuts...Ah...]

...Only four. Guess I'll make do and live up to my promise or whatever ☆ What are you getting up this early for, Pervert-sensei?

Wanted to prove I keep my promises face to face.

[ Which he said he did last night, but, that's only because he opted not to tell Kanou the rules of their little game beforehand. So that didn't mean much.

He even has something else for his good little lab rat, but...hm. Both his hands are occupied, and there isn't any furniture in here except for a mattress inside the cage. Hopefully it's not seen as treating Kanou too much like a feral animal to set the balanced breakfast on the floor while Akira fishes--something out of his coat pocket, Kanou can't really see it yet, but it's a spotless new pair of glasses. ]

If you'd say we got off on the wrong foot beforehand, we can consider this the start of our new, beautiful friendship! What do you say?

Mm~mm. Are you really going to be my friend? I doubt it.

[While Akira's rummaging, Kanou's going to live up to his side of the deal and hastily jam a spoonful of egg, a bite of toast, and the entire banana portion into his mouth, just so that he can get to the crullers faster. And once they're in his hands, he's going to just nibble at one, toes curling through his crocs (because I know that man wears crocs in my heart) as he bodily rocks from side to side.]

But we can co-operate, collaborate. Put my name down on your papers about me. Kanou Aogu, don't try and be me ☆

...Did you get yourself some doughnuts? If you did, and you don't want 'em, give me your leftovers~

[ Ah excellent, he didn't even have to remind Kanou about their agreement. To help the reward along he'll even set the cruller plate down by the breakfast one to make grabbing at them easier. ]

I got a few to try, but most of them are going to be yours. Remember, one per meal, two if you're a good boy.

[ If Kanou's going to keep himself on the floor then Akira will once again join him there, in a proper sit this time to unfold the glasses and hold them out at what is hopefully a close enough distance to make it obvious what they are. Will they be grabbed too? Will Akira be allowed to put them on? Who knows. ]

Friends, collaborators, either is fine by me. So long as I get to learn as much about such an interesting specimen as I can.

[Pardon him while he yawns from his all-nighter, no big, don't ask him about it. ...He's also going to just stare at those proffered glasses, as if it's obvious that Akira should put them on him since his hands are busy with crullers and all. He didn't need to hold them all at once with the plate, but no. He's holding them all to his chest bar the one he's nibbling intently on. Duh, come on! What's the good of room service if they don't do everything for you????]

Then it's fine with me too. Give me my credit and praise me ☆ Then we can be whatever you want, Sensei~

Why's it you this morning, though? Just to give me my glasses back? Or are you buttering me up?

Is it buttering you up if I want to be friends? Hmm?

[ Well if Kanou's trusting him to put them back on, so he shall. Welcome back to the world of the seeing, complete with a quick lil boop on the nose. ]

...Alright, I may still be up from when we last talked. Overnight delivery to a secret island takes a liiittle arranging, you know?

Yeah. But I never said it wouldn't work, so don't worry~ Kanou-san's just a humble piece of toast, and you seem to be apt at overbuttering~

[--boop??

Boop?

The lizard brain's almost visible behind Kanou's eyes for a second, cold, eldritch, before he nibbles the cruller again and it's hidden back away.] Don't do anything in this state; you'll be useless if you waste my precious blood or something, and I'm not telling you anything important if you'll forget it.

...Do you get human TV here? I wanna see if they mentioned the explosion. Am I a superstar~?

I could do an operation just fine like this--and I have! I know my limits, so rest assured whenever I take a scalpel to you you'll be in steady, capable hands.

[ Said steady, capable hands waving dismissively. It's fiiiine, you can and should trust this man with your flesh. ]

Mm, we do! But until quarantine's up the best I can do is let you have some time with a radio and nurse supervision.

[ There aren't any outlets in this room after all--another safety feature. Especially since this room is normally used for the more animalistic of youkai who might not be up to date on basic electronics. ]

Just because you can, doesn't mean it's your best work.

[Finally, he takes a grownass man bite out of the doughnut, almost dull now with disinterest.]

...And I don't need to watch the news myself. We're still in Japan, riiiiiight? Close enough for you to hear if there's been any reports of an explosion in the Chuubu region? I just wanna know if there were surviiiivors.

open post

for @seeinside of course

i am open mouth kissing you

iyaaaa i have couscous in my teeth let me rinse out first iyaaaaaaa

too late mlemlemlemlemlem etc

i was saving that for later ;q;

(ﾉ≧ڡ≦)

(((φ(◎ロ◎;)φ)))

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